Haredi Educator Highlights Lack of Basic Marriage Preparation for Young Couples
Translated & summarized from Kikar HaShabbat by baba
Shneor Rokhberger, a Haredi educator, highlights that many young couples marry without basic knowledge of budgeting and married life realities, urging improved premarital preparation to reduce marital difficulties. He calls on educators and parents to provide practical guidance before marriage to better equip couples for family life.
The story in 6 lines · by baba
- Many young Haredi couples marry without basic financial and marital life preparation.
- Girls receive some instruction, but often from teachers disconnected from their reality.
- Boys receive minimal premarital guidance due to cultural misconceptions.
- Rising divorce rates indicate current preparation is insufficient.
- Couples should address personal challenges and meet counselors before engagement.
- Parents may need to supplement formal education with practical marriage skills.
Shneor Rokhberger, an educator and parent coach within the Haredi community, warns that many young couples enter marriage without essential practical knowledge, especially regarding household budgeting and the realities of family life. He notes that while wedding preparations are extensive, the transition to married life is often overlooked, leaving couples unprepared for financial and relational challenges.
Rokhberger points out that although girls receive some formal instruction through programs like "The Jewish Home" classes, these are often taught by older teachers disconnected from the students' realities. For boys, preparation is even more limited, with some educators fearing that premarital guidance might provoke inappropriate desires. This results in young men relying on peers or the internet for information, which is often insufficient or inaccurate.
He recalls his own experience in a small yeshiva where an "umah bayit" (house mother) provided basic marital guidance, a practice that is becoming rare. Rokhberger emphasizes the growing gap between the separate educational tracks for boys and girls, which reduces opportunities for joint preparation for shared life. He also highlights the rise in divorces and broken engagements as evidence that current preparation is inadequate.
The article stresses the importance of addressing personal challenges, including addictions, before marriage and suggests that couples meet with marriage counselors or professionals prior to engagement. Rokhberger shares a personal anecdote about learning the true financial demands of supporting a family, underscoring the need for realistic budgeting education.
He concludes that marriage preparation is not a luxury but a necessity for building a stable home in Israel. If formal education systems fail to provide this, the responsibility falls to parents to equip their children with these vital skills before marriage. The article was published in the Achvata newsletter distributed nationwide.
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