Guide for Parents on Helping Children Cope With Fear After Traumatic Events
Translated & summarized from Behadrei Haredim by baba
Following a traumatic flight incident involving Israeli passengers, a clinical social worker offers guidance to parents on helping children cope with fear. The advice includes filtering information, managing parental anxiety, validating children's feelings, and highlighting positive outcomes and protectors. Practical coping strategies like breathing exercises and grounding techniques are suggested, alongside the importance of prayer and creating a safe home environment. Professional help is recommended if symptoms persist.
The story in 6 lines · by baba
- Parents should act as information filters for children after traumatic events, explaining incidents in age-appropriate ways.
- Parents must manage their own fear and anxiety, as children are highly sensitive to their caregivers' emotional state.
- Validate children's fears by acknowledging the scary aspects of an event, but also focus on positive outcomes and safety measures.
- Children who were directly involved in a traumatic event may require more support, including professional help if needed.
- Coping mechanisms include deep breathing, grounding techniques, distinguishing reality from imagination, and prayer.
- The goal is to create a safe space where children feel protected and can express fear without judgment.
Following a recent incident where a co-pilot attacked the captain on a flight carrying Israeli passengers, causing the plane to dive and terrifying those aboard, including children, parents are advised on how to help their children process the fear and trauma.
The article emphasizes that the real challenge begins after landing, as children who witnessed or heard about the event may experience nightmares and anxiety. It stresses the importance of parents acting as a filter for information, shielding young children from direct exposure to graphic videos and descriptions while still acknowledging the event. Parents are urged to explain what happened in age-appropriate terms and at a pace the child can handle.
Crucially, the article advises parents to manage their own reactions, as children are highly sensitive to their parents' stress. Before speaking to children, parents should assess their own feelings about the event. While it's normal to feel fear, children need to see parents who are not controlled by their fear, providing a sense of stability.
The author suggests a balanced approach to discussing the incident: validating the child's fear by acknowledging the scary aspects, but also highlighting the positive outcomes and the people who acted to ensure safety. This includes recounting the pilot's bravery, the actions of other passengers, the presence of a doctor on board, and the swift response of security forces. The goal is to shift the child's focus from helplessness to gratitude and from potential danger to the presence of protectors.
For children who were directly involved or have close family members on the flight, more significant support may be needed, potentially including professional help if symptoms like sleep disturbances or clinginess persist. The article offers practical coping mechanisms, such as deep breathing exercises, grounding techniques using the senses, and distinguishing between imagination and reality. It also suggests creative methods like giving the fear a physical form and the ancient tool of prayer to help children feel less alone and more secure. Ultimately, the aim is to create a safe space where children feel protected, even when experiencing fear.
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