Mother of Oct. 7 Victim Finds Strength in Jewish Identity

Anat Elkabetz, mother of Sivan Elkabetz, who was murdered in Kibbutz Kfar Aza on October 7, shared her experiences and reflections in an interview with Beni Titlbaum on Kan Moreshet. Three years after the attack, Elkabetz recounted the final hours she was in contact with her daughter and the profound spiritual transformation she has undergone since the tragedy.

On the evening before October 7, the family celebrated 36 years of marriage. Sivan, along with her siblings, prepared a surprise for their parents: 36 family photos arranged on wooden blocks. "There is a video from that evening that I watch over and over again. It's incomprehensible, this place of seeing life, life and dancing and joy, that simply wouldn't be here in a few hours," Elkabetz recalled.

On the morning of October 7, the family was in their homes within the kibbutz. By 7:30 AM, they were still in contact. Sivan sent her mother a message: "Mom, text me every five minutes that you're okay." This marked the beginning of the communication blackout. The family entered their safe room and began receiving updates via WhatsApp groups, learning later that the head of the regional council, Ofir Libshtein, had been killed.

Elkabetz described the period as a "break, a shock." Despite dire signs, the family still believed the army would arrive. At 11:11 AM, Sivan sent her father a final message: "Dad, promise me everyone is okay." Elkabetz noted that even then, her daughter did not mention terrorists or gunfire, but expressed concern for her family. Later, the family saw further messages in neighborhood groups. One, sent by Sivan at 11:12 AM, read: "Urgent help. They are in my house." Elkabetz was able to piece together parts of her daughter's final hours from these messages, concluding, "The army that arrived was too late."

While expressing that the soldiers and officers who fought in the kibbutz were "true heroes," Elkabetz felt the covenant between the citizen and the army had been broken. She described Sivan as "all light and goodness and beauty, external and internal," and as someone who "connected people." Sivan was a computer science student, served as a combat signal instructor in the army, studied science and art, and was very close to her family.

Since October 7, Elkabetz has experienced a deep spiritual change. "I want to know much more about the meaning of being Jewish, and that we don't settle for being Jewish just because we were born to a Jewish mother," she stated. "You don't need to reach 57 like me, and certainly not reach October 7, to stand and understand what our identity is," she added. "Our strength is in our identity, in our Jewish identity. And let's instill it from the moment a baby comes into the world, because that is our true strength. We need a strong army, but our true strength is in our recognition of who we are, of our Jewish identity."

Elkabetz now observes Shabbat candle lighting and tries to hold Kiddush on Friday evenings, though she sees it as an ongoing process. Her search has led her to study with a woman from Kfar Chabad and to explore the Tanya, finding in Jewish wisdom a therapeutic approach to relationships and helping others. "It's ours, it's accessible to us, it's open to us. Often we just push it away, not out of knowledge, but out of ignorance. To shout 'Haredization' because it's forbidden is a shame. It's ours, and it's deep, and it's rich, and it's beautiful. And what each person does with it is their own. But let us know, it is ours," she concluded.