From Depression's Depths to Artistic Healing: Rina Levi's Journey
Rina Levi, a 47-year-old mother of five and grandmother of three, recounts her profound struggle with major depression that began at age 31. Previously a dedicated educator for high school seniors, Levi describes her life as suddenly halting, likening the onset of her illness to her "computer mouse" of the soul simply shutting down. This led to a complete withdrawal from work, social life, and even the will to live.
During the darkest period, Levi experienced extreme physical sensitivity and internal turmoil, which she expressed through her art. One painting depicted a computer mouse powering down, symbolizing her body's gradual shutdown. Functioning as a mother to young children became an insurmountable challenge, forcing her family to move in with her parents for support. A moment of crisis occurred when she ran out of the house towards the road in despair, but the thought of her family and her sister's intervention prompted her to seek hospitalization and choose life.
Her husband's support was crucial, encouraging professional treatment. A turning point came when he offered to guide her through life's difficulties, saying, "Give me your hand and I will show you the horizon for us." This became her anchor, alleviating the burden of carrying everything alone. Art became a significant part of her healing process about two years after the depression began. Initially, her paintings were filled with anger and pain, like a screaming red figure, but they evolved to express hope, exemplified by a blue deer facing warm-colored waves.
Beyond art, Levi found healing through medication, which she gradually weaned off over a decade, and through "Yemima" studies, a spiritual practice. Faith and the memory of her grandmother also provided comfort, giving new meaning to her prayers. Her core message to those struggling is acceptance: accepting the dark tunnel, accepting the breakdown, and accepting the departure from one's former self, as healing can only emerge from this full acceptance.
Today, Levi teaches art at an elementary school and continues her therapy and self-care. She dreams of exhibiting her post-crisis artwork to share her story and inspire others, emphasizing that recovery is possible.
