Israeli Mother Details Harrowing Battle With Treatment-Resistant Depression

Osnat Kedar, a 44-year-old educator and mother of six from a religious community settlement, has revealed her nine-year struggle with treatment-resistant depression and suicidal ideation, which began during a planned sabbatical year intended for family time. Initially experiencing a "fall" during what should have been a joyous period marked by the birth of a daughter and upcoming family celebrations, Kedar's condition worsened, leading to significant weight loss and a noticeable change in her demeanor.

Her turning point came at her daughter's bat mitzvah, where a former manager recognized her distress and arranged for friends to ensure she sought psychiatric help. Initially diagnosed with mild depression, her condition was later understood to be far more complex, with a recent diagnosis of Complex Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (CPTSD). Kedar now focuses on survival, primarily for her children, and teaches remedial private lessons when able, having stopped her work as a classroom teacher.

Kedar describes the immense challenge of her "invisible disability," often facing judgment from others, particularly when utilizing accommodations like skipping queues, as she cannot outwardly display her internal struggles. She recounts a dialogue where she confronts an angry woman in line, explaining her inability to show her lack of will to live or her daily battles.

Despite the severity of her illness, Kedar emphasizes that her faith has not wavered, and her husband, Natanel, provides crucial physical and emotional support. She details the difficult reality of returning home after psychiatric hospitalizations, facing the overwhelming demands of a large household and the stark contrast between her family's expectations and her limited capacity. Her children, though resilient, endure her frequent absences due to hospital stays and her reduced presence when she is home.

Looking ahead, Kedar dreams of publishing a book about her experience to foster understanding and establishing an organization to support children and families of individuals with mental health challenges, providing them with activities and resources. She urges those struggling to know they are not alone and encourages the public to recognize the invisible battles fought by those with mental illness.