Relationship Coach Explains Small Gestures Build Stronger Bonds
Translated & summarized from Arutz Sheva by baba
Relationship coach Moshe Sharon concluded his series for Project 252 by explaining that strong relationships are built on responding to small "bids" for connection, not just compatibility. He contrasted general "lettuce" compliments with specific "avocado" compliments and advised looking for a "dancer" in a partner, someone flexible and willing to compromise. Sharon's teachings are based on the research of Dr. John Gottman, who identifies these interactions as crucial for relationship quality.
The story in 5 lines · by baba
- Relationship coach Moshe Sharon says strong bonds are built on responding to small "bids" for connection.
- Sharon, based on Dr. John Gottman's research, contrasts general "lettuce" compliments with specific "avocado" ones.
- He advises seeking a "dancer" in a partner, someone flexible and willing to compromise.
- Sharon stated, "My wife and I are not compatible," but she is "very right for me."
- Project 252 is a community for religious singles seeking relationships.
Relationship coach Moshe Sharon concluded his communication series for Project 252 by emphasizing that strong relationships are not built on compatibility but on small, consistent interactions. Sharon stated, "My wife and I are not compatible," but stressed that she is "very right for me," differentiating between a superficial "lettuce" compliment and a specific "avocado" compliment.
Sharon's teachings are based on the work of Dr. John Gottman, a researcher who identifies these small interactions as "bids." According to Gottman, couples constantly send each other bids for attention, affection, humor, or support. Responding positively to these bids strengthens the connection, while ignoring them leads to distance. Sharon illustrated this with an anecdote where his wife gently reminded him to bring water, allowing him to correct his mistake without defensiveness.
Sharon advised seeking a "dancer" in a partner, meaning someone flexible, willing to apologize, and able to compromise, rather than focusing solely on compatibility or mystical signs. He explained that even a quiet person can be a good partner if they are willing to try for something important to their loved one.
He further elaborated on Gottman's concept of "bids," describing them as invitations for closeness. Sharon used an example of his wife discussing her sister, which he found uninteresting, but he engaged by asking about the conversation because he was interested in his wife. He also highlighted that certain bids, like supporting a partner when they are upset by their boss, are crucial and should not be missed.
Project 252 is a community for singles in the religious public seeking relationships, hosting weekly sessions with experts every Wednesday evening.