Rabbi Orders Children to Shun Mother Who Left Ultra-Orthodox Life

A mother of five, identified only as D., is engaged in a bitter struggle for contact with her children after the leader of the ultra-Orthodox party Degel HaTorah, Rabbi Dov Lando, allegedly instructed them to cease all communication with her because she left the religious lifestyle. D. separated from her husband about a year ago, though they are not yet divorced. Their split was reportedly due to religious differences, with D. becoming less observant. Initially, a rabbinical court mandated joint custody, with D. agreeing to maintain a religious facade for the children. However, four months ago, she informed her children of her decision to leave the faith, assuring them she would still uphold appearances and support their choices, even if they opted for military service or religious study.

According to D., her husband, who has not yet granted her a divorce, turned to Rabbi Lando for intervention after learning of her departure from religious life. He, along with the children's grandfather and the two eldest sons, aged 14 and 12, met with Rabbi Lando. D. claims her husband used this meeting as a "doomsday weapon." During a recorded conversation, Rabbi Lando reportedly told the children they must not communicate with their mother, even by phone, as she was leading them astray. He forbade them from wishing her a happy new year and dismissed her potential anger, stating he would call the police if she protested.

Rabbi Lando's son, Yossi, allegedly advised the father to move to a different city to limit D.'s chances of encountering the children. Subsequently, D.'s 14-year-old son contacted her, expressing distress and stating that Rabbi Lando had forbidden them from living with her. He and his siblings were then taken to their father's home. D. recounts instances where younger children fled from her, appearing fearful, and describes the pain of finding her home empty after her children were taken. She reported the incidents to the police, who initially deemed it outside their purview but later sent a patrol car, stating the children did not wish to come to her.

Despite rabbinical court orders for supervised visits, D. claims the estrangement continues. She has attempted to mediate through Rabbi Lando's son, but faced resistance. A recent court decision granted the father temporary custody of four children, while the youngest remains with D. She is permitted to see the older children twice a week for two and a half hours, while the father receives the youngest for two days a week, including overnight stays. D. describes feeling like a grieving mother, unable to concentrate, and believes her children are being held captive. Attorney Neta Kamer, who assists parents leaving the ultra-Orthodox community, noted a rise in such cases and the active involvement of community leaders in severing children's ties with non-religious parents. The Rabbinical Courts Administration stated they cannot comment on ongoing legal proceedings but affirmed their commitment to fighting parental alienation and prioritizing the children's welfare, noting that dissatisfied parties can appeal decisions.