Therapist Uses Abrahamic Parable to Treat Anxiety Over Uncertainty
תומצת מתוך Kikar HaShabbat על ידי baba
Therapist Yossi Avdo uses the biblical story of Abraham to help a former yeshiva student, Aharon, cope with anxiety after leaving his studies to work. Aharon experienced intense fear and sleepless nights due to financial worries and feeling like a failure. By applying cognitive behavioral techniques and drawing parallels to Abraham's challenges and God's promises, Avdo guided Aharon to break down his fears and tolerate uncertainty. Aharon eventually shared his secret loan with his wife, leading to improved communication and a reduction in his overwhelming anxiety.
הידיעה ב-5 שורות · תקציר של baba
- Therapist Yossi Avdo uses Abraham's biblical journey to treat Aharon's anxiety about leaving yeshiva for work.
- Aharon experienced severe anxiety, constantly checking finances and feeling judged by his former community.
- The therapist applied cognitive techniques, likening Aharon's fears to Abraham's challenges with uncertainty.
- Aharon's breakthrough involved telling his wife about a secret loan and reducing compulsive checking.
- The article offers practical tips for managing anxiety during uncertain times.
A 39-year-old father of five, identified only as Aharon, sought help from therapist Yossi Avdo after leaving his 14-year study in a Kollel (yeshiva for married men) to work in an accounting office. Despite his salary reducing his bank overdraft, Aharon suffered from severe anxiety, constantly checking his bank app and feeling judged by his former community. Avdo, a therapist and NLP coach, recognized this as a common reaction among men who make significant life changes.
Avdo drew parallels between Aharon's struggles and the biblical patriarch Abraham's journey. Citing Rashi's commentary on Genesis, Avdo explained that God's promises to Abraham, regarding progeny, wealth, and reputation, were designed to address specific fears associated with leaving the familiar. This approach, similar to cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) techniques like "catastrophizing" and the "downward arrow" technique, helps break down overwhelming fears into manageable components.
Through therapy, Aharon was guided to separate his anxieties about finances, reputation, and his children's futures. While his financial situation had improved, he also received advice requests from neighbors regarding work, and his eldest daughter's marriage prospects remained open. The process aimed to replace worst-case scenarios with the most probable outcomes.
Avdo further referenced the Ramban's commentary on Abraham's descent into Egypt, where he misrepresented his wife Sarah out of fear. The Ramban criticized Abraham for not trusting God and for taking a hasty, problematic solution. This, Avdo explained, mirrors how immediate fears can lead to new problems, contrasting it with the importance of "trusting in God" and tolerating uncertainty.
Aharon's "descent into Egypt" involved taking a loan from a gemach (interest-free loan fund) without informing his wife, leading to increased anxiety due to the secret. Avdo also connected this to research by Michel Dugas on "intolerance of uncertainty," where individuals seek immediate certainty, which paradoxically amplifies anxiety. The article notes that the entire country was experiencing this during election week, with constant news and poll checking mirroring Aharon's bank app checks.
Ultimately, Aharon's breakthrough came when he decided to tell his wife about the loan and limit his bank app checks. His wife's understanding, rather than anger, allowed them to plan together. Months later, Aharon reported still having sleepless nights but no longer felt overwhelmed by a "fog of fear," understanding his specific anxieties. The article concludes with three practical tips for managing uncertainty, inspired by the Torah portion and psychological research: scheduling worry time, breaking down fears into specific questions, and reducing compulsive checking behaviors.
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