Parenting Advice: How to Recover After Losing Your Temper With a Child
Parenting experts advise parents to calm down, offer specific apologies, listen to their child, maintain boundaries, and commit to behavioral changes after losing their temper. These steps aim to repair the parent-child relationship and improve future communication.
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- Parents should calm down before addressing a child after an outburst.
- Offer a specific apology acknowledging the parent's actions and feelings.
- Listen to the child's perspective without arguing.
- Maintain necessary boundaries even after apologizing.
- Commit to a specific behavioral change for future interactions.
Following an outburst of anger towards a child, parenting experts recommend a structured approach to repair the situation and prevent recurrence. The American Academy of Pediatrics' parenting guides suggest parents first calm themselves down after ensuring the child is in a safe place, emphasizing that this pause is not a punishment and a young child should not be left alone. Following this, parents should offer a specific apology, not just a general 'sorry,' but one that acknowledges the action and the parent's feelings, such as, 'I yelled at you and I am sorry. I was frustrated, and I should have spoken differently.'
After apologizing, the next step is to listen to the child's perspective without immediate argument, giving them full attention. The guides also stress the importance of maintaining boundaries even after apologizing, for instance, by stating, 'I am sorry I yelled. Now it's time to turn off the screen, and I will explain it to you calmly.' Finally, parents are advised to commit to a specific change in their behavior, like pausing before speaking when frustrated, rather than promising never to get angry again. This approach focuses on repairing the relationship and demonstrating a commitment to better communication.