Grandparents Step In as Parents After Oct. 7 Attacks

Grandparents across Israel are unexpectedly taking on the full-time parental roles for grandchildren orphaned by the October 7th Hamas attacks. These families are grappling with immense grief, the complex emotional needs of children who have lost both parents, and the daunting task of rebuilding lives.

Eti Geta and her partner Avi are raising Neve, 8, and Rif, 4, whose mother, Stav, was killed fleeing the Nova music festival. Geta describes living in an "illusion" of being a babysitter, only to be jolted by the reality of Stav's permanent absence. She struggles with the generational gap, feeling out of place among young mothers, and recounts comforting Neve, who feared dying after his mother's promise to be with him always was broken by her death.

In Kibbutz Ma'oz Haim, Gila and Reuven Chen are caring for their granddaughters Menor, 15, and Neri, 12, whose parents were killed at the Nova festival. Gila admits to screaming in anguish during the first year, unable to bear her own pain or witness the children's fear and aggression. She finds it difficult to fully embrace the parental role, noting she no longer makes traditional dishes like stuffed vegetables or kibbeh.

Eti and Eli Bracha in Kiryat Ekron are raising their grandsons Eliab, 10, and Raphael, who recently had his bar mitzvah. Their daughter Gal and her husband Nagui were murdered at Nova. The Brachas recount the agonizing moment they had to tell the children their parents were gone, a double tragedy they struggled to articulate. Eliab's heartbreaking question, "Grandma, why does this happen to me? I'm a little boy who wants mom and dad," encapsulates their pain. Eti grieves privately, crying alone while doing laundry late at night.

The the granddaughter family's situation is particularly complex, with parents Dror and Yvonne murdered in Kibbutz Be'eri, and two of their three children, Noam and Alma, kidnapped to Gaza. Another grandchild, Liam, was also abducted. Grandparents Dorit and Yuval the granddaughter, both 75, are now raising three teenagers, a role they haven't had for decades. When the abducted children returned from captivity, they didn't know their parents were dead. Dorit had to deliver this devastating news herself. The grandchildren mourn not only their parents but also their grandparents' former roles.

Julio and Gloria, who immigrated from Colombia, are raising their grandson Aviel, 8. His mother, Yvonne, an only parent, was murdered at Nova. Gloria expresses fear about their own mortality and what will happen to Aviel. Julio notes the difficulty of raising a young child at their age, requiring significant strength and energy. Aviel often expresses sadness and misses his mother.