Ghosting in Dating: Why People Disappear and How to Stop It
In an interview with Channel 7, dating consultant Shirat Malach says ghosting has become a normal part of modern dating, and she argues that even a brief breakup message is a basic sign of respect and humanity. Speaking with Tzuriel Gvizon as wedding season begins, she says the practice did not appear overnight, but has been growing for several years, especially from dating apps, where, as she puts it, the norm has long been that “nobody answers you.”
Malach says the old debate was whether a breakup should come in a text or by phone call, but today even a short “it’s not a fit, good luck” message is viewed as almost noble. In her view, many people avoid ending things because it feels uncomfortable to confront disharmony, and they convince themselves the other side will understand on their own. She stresses that closure is not emotional luxury, but basic dignity for someone who invested time, hoped, sat across from you for an hour and a half, and opened up. “Respect. At least with a message,” she says.
She calls this ability a “closure muscle,” and says it matters far beyond dating. The same skill is needed in marriage, parenting, and any relationship that requires facing what is not working and ending it gently. Someone who does not practice it while single will not suddenly develop it in a relationship. In her words, closure is a value and a basic expression of “being decent to other people.”
Malach also says the war has taken a toll on dating. Reservists have been under severe strain that affects relationships, and while “reservist” was once a dating advantage early in the war, months of “week on, week off” service and long-distance living have worn down both men and women. The result is more disappearances, often followed by embarrassment and regret. She also says the dating format itself is stale, with the usual coffee shop, waiter, pastry and predictable questions. Her proposed solution is an “alternative date,” meaning something different in place, time, or conversation, because even small changes can create renewed spark and make it easier to end things with dignity later.
