Dating Coach Sarah Abramovitz Offers Six Tools to Make Dating Easier

Sarah Abramovitz, a personal coach for finding a relationship, outlines six practical tools meant to help singles stop overanalyzing, judging and comparing, and instead enjoy dating more. She argues that people often see an event and immediately turn it into a mental story based on old beliefs, fears or past wounds, which leads to anger, complaints and emotional shutdown, and ultimately pushes away the relationship they want.

Drawing on the weekly Torah portions and the Israelites’ journey in the desert, she says the first step is to look only at the facts. If a date arrives 15 minutes late or forgets to call at the agreed time, those are just objective events, not proof of bad intentions. The second tool is to drop the “glasses of interpretation” and ask simple questions, such as why the person was late or what happened, instead of assuming “he does not care about me” or “she is not prioritizing me.”

Her third point is not to come to a date with rigid conclusions, but to separate the story one tells oneself from what is actually happening. That, she says, creates inner calm and makes it possible to notice both your own feelings and the other person’s. The fourth lesson is to stop acting like spies searching for flaws, and instead arrive with curiosity and a sense of discovery, because the goal is to meet a soul, not file an intelligence report.

Abramovitz’s fifth tool is compassion, since people often criticize others for the very weaknesses they cannot tolerate in themselves. The sixth is to stop comparing one date to another, because people are not products on a shelf and each person is a unique combination. She concludes that dating does not have to feel like a grueling desert campaign, and that replacing complaints with observation, interpretation with compassion, and spying with curiosity can make the path feel closer, deeper and more enjoyable. Abramovitz is also part of the coaching team at Project 252.