Chabad Rabbi Explains When to Be Firm or Affectionate in Child Education

Rabbi Asher Farkash continues his educational series based on Chassidic teachings by addressing a common parenting and teaching dilemma: when to apply firmness and when to show closeness. In the second episode, he explores the correct order between setting boundaries and expressing love, questioning whether firmness should come before love or vice versa.

Rabbi Farkash highlights the modern trend emphasizing "only love and hugs" in education, but warns about the consequences of having no boundaries at all. He differentiates between two types of firmness: one as a "hard hand" and the other as a deep faith in the child's abilities. This faith-based firmness stems from belief in the child's potential rather than fear or difficulty.

He also connects this educational approach to the spiritual order of the Jewish months of Elul and Tishrei, illustrating how the balance between love and strength is reflected in these times. Rabbi Farkash stresses the importance of maintaining an overall atmosphere of closeness and love around the child, while recognizing that moments of education require a different kind of firmness rooted in confidence in the child’s capabilities.

This lesson offers practical and clear guidance for parents and educators seeking to balance love and discipline effectively in child-rearing, grounded in Chassidic philosophy.