Yael Feder Offers Parents Practical Guide to Explaining Complex Topics to Children
Yael Feder, known for her work on children's sexual safety through her play and book "My Body Is Only Mine," has released her first book for parents titled "Turning Complex Into Simple." Published by BitBooks on the "Ivrit" platform in collaboration with Yetzira Ivrit, the book is part of the "The Solver" series edited by Dr. Maya Weizel, focusing on educational and social activism topics. Feder, a social worker, educator, actress, director, and education entrepreneur from Even Yehuda, provides parents with tools to communicate difficult subjects to children in an accessible way.
Feder explains that parents often struggle to discuss complex issues due to lack of knowledge, embarrassment, anxiety, or fear of traumatizing their children. She advises parents to clarify the purpose of the conversation, gather accurate information beforehand, and tailor explanations to the child's age, emotional development, and personality. She emphasizes the importance of dialogue over monologue, encouraging parents to ask children what they know before answering and to provide information gradually.
Practical techniques Feder recommends include using simple language, employing metaphors to illustrate abstract concepts, and allowing children to set boundaries on how much information they receive. She stresses honesty without overwhelming details and suggests using role-play, stories, or videos to ease difficult topics like medical procedures or parental separation. For example, when a child asked "What is sex?" Feder responded with a simple, age-appropriate explanation and offered to elaborate if the child asked more.
Feder also addresses how to explain sensitive situations such as divorce or wartime alarms, recommending strategies like the "five-five-five" mindfulness game to calm children during sirens. She highlights the resilience of children, noting that they often handle truths better than adults expect and can find positive experiences even in stressful circumstances.
Finally, Feder advises parents on what to avoid: using complex vocabulary, lying, giving overly optimistic or unfiltered information, lecturing, or ignoring children's questions. She encourages parents to view children's questions as opportunities for meaningful conversations and to trust in their children's ability to cope with reality.
