Educator Urges Parents to Prioritize Empathy and Social Skills for Children's Success
As the new year approaches, educator Avinoam Hersh is urging parents to consider the importance of empathy, social solidarity, and sensitivity as crucial traits for their children's success, potentially more so than traditional academic achievements. Hersh suggests that alongside wishes for academic success, health, and friendships, parents should also wish for their children to be caring individuals who notice and support those who are alone or struggling.
Citing research, Hersh highlights that social-emotional learning programs have been linked to significant academic improvements, with one meta-analysis of over 270,000 students showing an average boost of 11 percentile points in academic achievement. Further studies indicate that these social-emotional skills are strong predictors of long-term well-being, persisting for years after the programs conclude.
Even toddlers demonstrate a greater sense of joy when giving to others than when receiving, suggesting that generosity itself can be a source of happiness. Hersh emphasizes that empathy, emotional regulation, cooperation, and relationship management are not mere embellishments but essential life skills. The Harvard Center on the Developing Child also underscores the foundational role of supportive relationships and self-regulation for learning, resilience, and overall life success.
Hersh proposes a shift in parental questioning from solely focusing on academic performance, such as "How did you do on the test?" to also inquiring about social awareness, like "Who needed you today?" or "Was anyone sitting alone?" He advocates for praising children not only for high grades but also for acts of kindness, inclusivity, and noticing others.
Ultimately, Hersh stresses that children learn these values primarily through observing their parents' actions. He encourages parents to model caring behavior by reaching out to lonely individuals, inviting those without holiday plans, and making time to see beyond their own immediate needs. The core message is that teaching children to be sensitive to others and to help them, ensuring no one is left behind, is one of the most valuable gifts parents can give.