Rabbi Yoav Akrish Explores How to Prevent Quiet Relationship Burnout Ahead of Tu B'Av
Ahead of the Jewish holiday Tu B'Av and the Torah portion Eikev, Rabbi Yoav Akrish delves into the painful question of why relationships deteriorate and warmth fades even without major conflicts. He examines the subtle erosion of closeness and emotional warmth that can leave partners feeling lonely despite being together.
Rabbi Akrish contrasts two biblical commandments, "You shall not make for yourself a carved image" and "You shall not make for yourself a graven image," highlighting how one represents the highest holiness and the other the greatest impurity. This contrast serves as a framework to understand what truly damages relationships over time.
Through analysis of these commandments, a Mishnah about the measure of Sodom, and the concept of unconditional love (ahavat chinam), Rabbi Akrish reveals a fundamental principle of a Jewish home: the shift from living to receive to living to give. This shift, he argues, is essential to building a home based on genuine love and preventing quiet burnout in relationships.
The lesson is timely for couples reflecting on their bonds during Tu B'Av, the traditional Jewish day of love, encouraging a move from self-centeredness to selflessness as the foundation for enduring connection.
