Stylist Reflects on Self-Hatred and Compassion in Changing Rooms on Tisha B'Av

Stylist Hani Tsaig shares insights gained from hundreds of women trying on clothes in fitting rooms, revealing that baseless hatred is not only directed at others but often at oneself. Around the Jewish fast day of Tisha B'Av, discussions focus on hatred, division, and unconditional love, usually emphasizing kindness toward others. However, Tsaig highlights that the process of healing must also begin with how we view ourselves, especially in moments of self-criticism in front of mirrors.

Tsaig observes that many women fixate on perceived flaws such as their stomach, arms, or legs, rather than seeing themselves as whole individuals. She encourages them to pause and appreciate their entire being, including their smile, eyes, heart, and resilience. She questions why people would harshly judge themselves in ways they would never judge a daughter or close friend.

Through her work, Tsaig encounters women from diverse backgrounds who initially seem different but quickly connect beyond appearances, fostering empathy and reducing judgment. She believes that the true repair of Tisha B'Av starts with improving our relationship with ourselves, which then enables greater compassion and understanding toward others. By replacing self-criticism with kindness, people can better recognize the inherent goodness in themselves and others, created in the image of God.