Why Parents Who Mean Well Often Struggle to Set Limits

Dr. Sarit Taganski argues that many parents today struggle to set boundaries because of two forces at once, the turmoil around them and their own childhood baggage. In a mako article published on June 24, 2026, she says parents want to be caring and protective, but that can slide into giving up on rules and structure.

Taganski describes a familiar scene: parents complain that a child “simply does not listen,” keep asking them to clean their room, then eventually give in and do it themselves to avoid conflict or being late. She says this is especially hard with children with special needs, some of whom resist, while others genuinely want to obey but cannot meet expectations. In such cases, one parent may hold the line while the other gives up, or the parents may become overprotective because of the child’s difficulties.

She says the current atmosphere, including post-COVID instability, ongoing war, sirens and constant uncertainty, pushes parents to spare children any more frustration. Added to that are adults who grew up with emotional deprivation, harsh homes or a lack of protection, and promise themselves, “My child will not experience what I experienced.” But when parents try to be only a friend and erase their own authority, Taganski says the child does not feel free, but anxious, because there is no strong adult to regulate and contain them.

Taganski says every child, especially one with special needs, needs clear routines and boundaries to feel safe, loved and protected. She notes that many children’s difficulties are neurological rather than the result of poor parenting, but says the family still has a decisive role in helping them improve. She recommends a fixed daily structure, short and simple instructions, consistency, no empty threats, agreement between both parents, and positive reinforcement such as praise and hugs. In her view, “a parent who sets a boundary is not less loving, [but] a protecting parent” who helps a child grow into a regulated, confident and resilient person.