Writer and media personality Hadasa Ben Ari and creator Tzvi Ben Meir will appear together Tuesday night as part of Hebrew Book Month, in a joint event at the Simta Theater. The theater is operating from a temporary location during renovations, at the Goren Goldstein Country Club on Ahova Ozeri 2 in Tel Aviv-Yafo.
Ben Ari says the pairing looks like a meeting of opposites, since she comes from the city and remains deeply religious, while Ben Meir came from a settlement, came out as gay, and left religious life. Still, she says both of their books, her "What Do You Know About Longing" and his "He Who Lets His Sukkah Fall," grow from the same roots of separation, identity and heartbreak. "You feel all the respect and appreciation for where Tzvi comes from," she said in an interview with Srugim, adding that their shared ground is honest discussion about change, identity and loss.
Ben Ari, who went through a highly publicized divorce from singer Hanan Ben Ari, says the idea of home has changed completely for her, and that public exposure became part of that process. "I was usually never privileged to have my story be personal," she said, but added that she dislikes "the pornography of the soul" and keeps her focus on her children and her home. She said she has no disappointment with the media because she has no expectations from it, and that "the meeting with people is the truth."
Beyond her own story, Ben Ari says she also wants to speak about social wounds within the religious sector. She praised Ayalet Kahana's column in Makor Rishon about unmarried religious women who are left behind, saying such women often receive no recognition because they help everyone else and are taken for granted. She also described a personal shift from years spent almost entirely at home with her children to public speaking, workshops and writing events, saying, "God managed to kick me out of my comfort zone" and that she now enjoys creating and meeting people.
Ben Ari says the message she wants to leave the audience with is that disagreement can exist inside a family without breaking belonging. She noted that she and her children can argue at the Shabbat table, but the starting point and the ending point is always that they are family. "Tel Aviv is mine just as Jerusalem is also for secular people," she said, arguing not for talking about unity but for practicing it. She stressed that neither she nor Ben Meir is trying to change the other, and said she does not need to be anxious about her boundaries in order to feel at home with all parts of Israeli society.
