Rabbi Avidan Milgrom Reveals He Was Rejected by the Yeshiva He Dreamed Of

Rabbi Avidan Milgrom of Haza'inu, who has spent years guiding boys and parents through key moments in the yeshiva system, revealed on the latest episode of the podcast series "B'Tzomet HaMasaa" that he too once received a rejection from the yeshiva he most wanted to attend. The series, launched by Haza'inu ahead of the registration season for major yeshivas, is hosted by Rabbi Yechizkel Glick and features the center's rabbis and advisers discussing the transition from small yeshiva to large yeshiva and the pressures that accompany it.

Milgrom said a rejection at that age is not experienced as a simple administrative decision. "A boy at that age does not just feel rejected by a yeshiva," he said. "He sometimes feels rejected himself. For him, it is not only that his request was not accepted, it is that he hears 'no' to him." The conversation also touched on how parents often try to calm a disappointed boy too quickly, and why that instinct can miss the emotional reality of the moment.

Near the end of the episode, Milgrom described his own experience. As a yeshiva student in third year, he dreamed of another yeshiva, believed he had done well in the entrance test, and returned to his school expecting good news. Instead, his rebbe told him, even before an official answer arrived, that he had not been accepted. "I was in shock. I was very angry," he said. "For me, that was the place I was supposed to study." He added that months of anticipation can end with one phone call, and that the pain cannot be minimized.

Milgrom said he eventually went to a different yeshiva he had not wanted at first, but there he met "a rabbi for life," a deep relationship that continues to shape him. He rejected the idea of telling a boy immediately that everything happens for the best, saying the first step is to sit with the pain. Only after a boy feels understood, he said, can faith in divine guidance be discussed. He concluded that parents should not erase disappointment, but stay with the boy through it and then help him move forward. The next episode will examine how the transition to large yeshiva can be used to identify learning, emotional, or social difficulties that may need support.