Israeli Woman Reveals Her Experience of Perpetrating Domestic Violence and Breaking the Cycle

Zohara, a 43-year-old Israeli family lawyer and mediator, shares her personal story of domestic violence from the perspective of a woman who was the aggressor. In her debut book "Story Hour," she exposes the often invisible nature of female-perpetrated violence and its roots in intergenerational trauma. Zohara recounts a period of intense conflict with her husband Alon, during which she verbally abused him in front of their daughters, causing them fear and breaking the safety of their home. This realization prompted her to seek help from a domestic violence prevention center.

Growing up in a troubled household marked by emotional and sexual abuse, Zohara struggled with feelings of being "broken" and carried these wounds into her adult relationships. She married at 30 after a series of failed attempts at intimacy, burdened by mistrust and emotional detachment. Her marriage was fraught with verbal violence from her side, fueled by unresolved childhood trauma and post-traumatic stress reactions. Despite the difficulties, her husband remained supportive, and together they sought therapy.

Zohara’s turning point came after the birth of twins when she saw fear in her daughters’ eyes during a fight. She recognized that she was replicating the terror she experienced as a child and decided to confront her behavior for their sake. At the prevention center, she disclosed her history of sexual abuse by her father, a revelation that deeply shook her but also initiated her healing process.

She emphasizes the importance of breaking the silence around domestic violence and intergenerational trauma, advocating for therapy as a vital first step. Zohara completed three years of treatment and continues to work on managing her trauma and protecting her children from its effects. Her book aims to shed light on the hidden forms of violence and encourage others to seek help, stressing that recovery requires awareness, compassion, and support from loved ones.

"Story Hour" serves as a candid testimony of transparent violence and a call to action to stop the cycle of abuse in families across Israel.