Parenting Requires Judgement and Listening, Not Just Strict Enforcement

The article discusses the importance of balancing authority and empathy in parenting, drawing on a biblical teaching about judges and officers. It highlights that while children need clear rules and boundaries, parents should not act merely as enforcers who punish automatically. Instead, they should adopt the role of a judge who listens carefully, understands the child’s motives, and exercises fair judgment before deciding on consequences.

The biblical commandment "appoint judges and officers in all your gates" is interpreted to emphasize that even those enforcing rules (officers) must exercise some judgment, not just impose punishment blindly. This approach fosters a stable home environment where children respect rules because they see them as fair and protective, not just restrictive.

The article advises parents to develop self-restraint and avoid reacting impulsively to misbehavior. It suggests a practical exercise where family members role-play as judges to understand the importance of hearing the child's perspective and considering mitigating circumstances before deciding on punishment. This method encourages children to take genuine responsibility for their actions.

Parents are encouraged to pause before reacting to rule-breaking, listen calmly to the child’s explanation, and then decide on an appropriate response. This approach builds lasting values and a sense of justice within the family, making the home a safer and more understanding place.

The article was published in the Achvata newsletter, which is distributed across Israel, and offers contact details for receiving the newsletter by WhatsApp or email.