Couples Should Lower Expectations for Passionate Sex During Vacations, Expert Advises

Tali Lindzen, a 45-year-old social worker and certified couples, family, and sex therapist from Petah Tikva, discusses common misconceptions about sex during couple vacations. She explains that many couples expect vacations to reignite their sexual passion, imagining that being in a peaceful, beautiful environment without daily stressors will restore their youthful intimacy. However, Lindzen notes that unresolved issues and lack of emotional closeness often accompany couples on vacation, making spontaneous sexual reconnection unlikely.

Lindzen highlights that couples who rarely engage in sexual intimacy during routine life often place all their sexual hopes on vacations, which can lead to disappointment. She warns that pressure and expectations to have sex can reduce desire, as passion thrives on security, playfulness, and curiosity rather than obligation. Even without children or work distractions, couples may find it difficult to connect sexually if emotional intimacy is missing.

The therapist points out differences in sexual arousal between men and women, with women generally responding more to emotional closeness and men to physical or environmental changes. She suggests that shared activities and new experiences during vacations can help spark connection, but emphasizes the need for rest and relaxation to foster intimacy.

Lindzen advises couples to reduce pressure by focusing on closeness rather than sex, communicating needs before the trip, and creating moments of touch, conversation, and laughter. She also encourages adjusting expectations to the current stage of life and embracing softer forms of sexuality if needed. For vacations with children, she recommends finding small opportunities for couple time, such as early mornings or evenings with a babysitter, to maintain intimacy and desire.