Man Denied Father-in-Law Role Over TV, Later Faces Similar Snub

A man named Avraham refused to allow his father-in-law to serve as a "sandak" (a ceremonial role at a Jewish circumcision) for his firstborn son nearly 30 years ago. Avraham's objection stemmed from his father-in-law's possession of a television in his bedroom, which Avraham deemed religiously unacceptable for such a spiritual role. Despite his wife's pleas and explanations about her father's generosity and his love for watching Arabic music, Avraham remained firm, causing deep hurt to his father-in-law.

Years later, Avraham's own daughter, Efrat, was expecting her second child. Avraham anticipated he would be honored with the sandak role for this grandchild, as is customary for the paternal grandfather when the maternal grandfather has already served. However, Efrat's husband, Natan, decided to appoint an external religious figure instead, citing Avraham's own use of a smartphone. Natan considered the smartphone, which Avraham used for his work as a kashrut supervisor, to be not entirely "kosher" and thus unfit for the sandak role.

Avraham was reportedly devastated and angered by this decision, feeling that his own principles were being used against him. He questioned the lack of consideration for family feelings and the principle of "love your neighbor as yourself." His wife observed the situation as a "boomerang effect," where the same justification Avraham used to exclude her father was now being applied to him.

The article reflects on the importance of respecting parents and avoiding actions that cause deep familial hurt, suggesting that Avraham's past decision set a precedent for his own experience. It also notes that many rabbis and spiritual leaders are careful to ensure family harmony and respect for elders before accepting such roles, often refusing if parents have not yet been honored.