Israeli Journalist Shares Anxiety Over Parenthood and Its Weighty Decision

Shmuel Monitz, an Israeli journalist and poet, reflects on the intense anxiety he feels about becoming a parent, a decision he views as profoundly consequential. Despite societal and familial expectations, especially within his traditional and religious background, Monitz reveals that the thought of parenthood triggers deep anxiety symptoms for him. He and his wife, aged 31 and 38 respectively, have not yet had children, and he emphasizes that the choice to have kids is not automatic or taken lightly in his life.

Monitz discusses the social pressures to reproduce, noting that many people become parents due to family tradition or societal norms rather than a clear-eyed understanding of the responsibilities involved. He highlights Israel's relatively high birth rate compared to Western countries, attributing it to cultural values such as the sanctity of life and the emotional connection to generational continuity, especially strong in religious communities where "be fruitful and multiply" is a biblical commandment.

Through poetry included in his recently published book "Detached Platform," Monitz expresses his fears about parenthood, including the possibility of failing as a parent or the alternative fear of never becoming one. He acknowledges his lifelong struggles with anxiety and depression, which compound his apprehension about this life-changing choice. He firmly states that if he does become a parent, it will not be for selfish reasons but to contribute positively to the world and provide the best possible life for his child, despite the significant sacrifices involved.

Monitz’s candid exploration of the emotional complexity surrounding parenthood challenges the common assumption that having children is a straightforward or inevitable step, especially in societies with strong pro-natalist values. His reflections invite a deeper conversation about the personal and societal dimensions of this profound decision.