“I’m Ready to Poke My Own Eyes Out”: The Dispute That Ruins Summer for Divorced Parents
Summer vacation is a period prone to trouble. / Artificial intelligence
Summer vacation is just around the corner, and for many families it is a time for planning, flights and shared outings. But for divorced parents or those involved in a legal dispute, this period, which overlaps with the courts’ summer recess, often becomes fertile ground for friction, ego battles and mutual attempts to derail trips. Attorney Yarden Shlomi, a family law expert, explains why summer vacation is such a volatile time, and what critical steps every parent must take now to ensure that the children do not end up staying in the country because of battles between frustrated ex-partners.
Planning to fly abroad with the children? Now is exactly the time to act.
So how do you get around this trap and make sure the children get on the plane? Shlomi’s answer is simple, but requires discipline: “Prepare the ground in advance, long before the chaos starts.” Her unequivocal recommendation is to act at least a month before the recess begins, meaning already now, so as not to end up in a stressful rush to court.
“The first and most important step is to obtain solid evidence,” Shlomi explains. “If you received permission for the trip from your ex, do not rely on their word over the phone. You must have written documentation proving that the other parent gave the green light for the trip and did not condition it on anything. Only after you have that written approval can you buy the plane tickets. This order is critical, because it shows the court that you acted in good faith and on the basis of existing consent. The next step is to translate that consent into the official form required to take minors out of the country, backed by a notary’s signature. This is an active step that must be done again for every trip, and it also involves costs of a little more than 200 shekels.”
Here Shlomi offers a practical golden tip: “Even if the other side refuses to cooperate or to pay out of pocket, do not argue. Absorb the cost yourself. It is a small expense worth your peace of mind, and in the end the interest in taking the children on vacation is yours.”
What happens if the other side refuses to sign? “Indeed, the problem begins when the other side decides to refuse to sign for non-substantive reasons or backs out of the consent they gave earlier. In such a case, an early approach to the court, weeks before the recess, will change the entire picture. When you submit an orderly request presenting the prior written consent, the plane tickets that were purchased, and the fact that you even offered to pay for the notary yourselves and the other side refused, the judges have no reason to prevent the departure or to impose restrictions and financial guarantees. The court will simply issue a judicial decision that replaces the need for the notarial approval.”
To illustrate how documentation and acting early change the rules of the game, Shlomi presents two completely opposite cases she handled: “In the first case, a client received a verbal promise on the phone, relied on it and bought tickets. When the other side changed their mind, he had no written evidence to present. Because he remembered late and turned to the court in the middle of the recess, the judges refused even to hear his request and the children stayed in the country. By contrast, another client of the firm acted wisely already in February. She made sure to obtain written consent, bought tickets and sent a copy to the other side. When the signing moment arrived and the ex suddenly decided to refuse, a quick request was filed with the court. The judge saw her exemplary conduct, gave the father a very short response time, and approved the girl’s trip without the need for his signature.”
To Attorney Yarden Shlomi on zap Mishpati website, to Attorney Yarden Shlomi’s website
Why would a parent be ready to harm their child’s vacation? What is the interest? “When parents are deeply immersed in the conflict, the children’s best interests are unfortunately pushed aside, and they become a tool to strike back at the other side in any possible way. Of course, there are cases in which there is a real and genuine fear of abduction, but even that concern can be professionally alleviated by proving ‘roots’ in the country, such as an active business, studies or property, showing that the parent has a reason and a place to return to. And if that is not enough, it can be backed by depositing a financial guarantee or having a third party sign a guarantee, so that an exit ban order will be imposed until the children return.”
To conclude, she shares an unusual case in which her firm had to prepare a strategy several steps ahead: “A client of mine had to impose an exit ban on her son in order to protect him from the father, after it became clear that the father had taken the child in the past to unsafe places such as a gambling hotel, brought women into the room where he stayed with his son, and even lied about the destination country where they were. When summer came and the mother wanted to fly with the child herself, the father decided to take revenge and refused to allow the temporary removal of the order for their trip. Because I anticipated this move in advance, I prepared a solid evidentiary foundation ahead of time that protected the mother. The request submitted to the court detailed all the steps and proved that this was not a kidnapping but a legitimate trip, and the judge approved the removal of the order for the trip with the mother without any condition or financial guarantee.”
Attorney Yarden Shlomi’s bottom line is clear: everything depends on evidence and timing. If you are in legal proceedings, do not wait until the last minute and do not count on miracles during the recess. Contact a lawyer in advance, document everything in writing, and ensure a quiet summer and a pleasant vacation for yourself and your children.
Attorney Yarden Shlomi / Shiran Kamer, Law Office. Yarden Shlomi is a boutique firm specializing in family law, divorce, wills and mediation, representing clients in various courts on matters of alimony, property division, common-law relationships and parental alienation, while placing the best interests of the children first.
*The information in this article is general only and does not constitute a substitute for professional legal advice. The article is courtesy of zap Mishpati.
