Rabbi Ami Baram, head of the organization Hitkasherut Zugi, says his group helps thousands of families navigate marriages and households split by major ideological or religious change, including cases where one spouse becomes religious, leaves religion, or shifts politically. In an interview on the program “Davar Rishon” with Moshe Mans and Yisrael Meir, he argued that the wider Israeli social rift is reflected inside homes, where couples must keep living together despite deep differences.
Baram said the central issue is usually not religion itself but the quality of the marriage. When the relationship is strong, he said, a religious gap can often be bridged. But when the marriage is already failing, adding an ideological divide can make it impossible to sustain, and in some cases the organization will help the couple end the relationship. Even then, he warned, divorce does not solve the underlying complexity and often makes life harder for the children, because the parents’ interests diverge and new partners enter the picture.
He said the organization’s model rests on three principles: rebuilding trust after one partner changes direction, replacing ideological confrontation with a discussion of needs, and creating separate personal, marital, and family spaces without coercion. “We cannot force anyone to keep Shabbat, and we also cannot force the other side to desecrate Shabbat,” he said, arguing that each spouse needs room for personal conscience alongside agreed boundaries for the home and children.
Baram also described the group’s “Shoreshim” project for ultra-Orthodox families, aimed at reducing the gap between parents and children who have undergone major life changes, such as enlistment in the army or adopting a different way of life. He said the response must combine acceptance with clear red lines on issues such as smartphones and modesty, while preserving the family bond. He concluded that the same approach should guide Israeli society, saying national cohesion can only come through trust, connection, and shared creation, not coercion or threats.
