The piece is explicitly presented as satire from beginning to end, warning readers not to treat it as fact, reality, or defamation. In the voice of a fictional new movement called the “Dictators Party,” it sketches a platform that openly rejects reform, concentrates power in the hands of a self-appointed elite, and decides who may serve as judges, heads of public institutions, parties, committees, and the security establishment.
The satire says only approved parties would be allowed to compete under restrictive terms, and that anyone who does not conform would be outlawed, threatened, and dealt with harshly. It also claims that in an “illiberal state of law,” threatening security chiefs is acceptable and even exemplary, and that only one side may protest, harass people, and disrupt public order with legal cover.
To satirize both sides of the political divide, the article strings together a long series of real public quotations and dates from Israeli figures, including attacks on Likud, threats to dismiss appointees, vows to “clean” the civil service, and calls for civil disobedience, refusal to report for reserve duty, and even illegal acts. It cites remarks from March 2023 through November 2025, including threats directed at the police commissioner, the dismissal of David Zini, and statements about “deep fascism.”
The text also mocks selective protection of groups in society, saying the imagined regime would decide who belongs, whom to defend, and on what basis, such as military service, religion, and belief. It quotes harsh criticism of Haredim and West Bank settlers, then turns to media control, saying freedom of expression is outdated, that outlets would be shut, permits and licenses revoked, and judges enlisted to support the ruling side. It ends by urging readers to vote for the “dictators,” or not vote at all.
